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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Stitching in the sunshine with Mom


Yesterday I left work at noon for a care plan meeting for my mom. These meetings occur every three months and are for the purpose of evaluating the care and the future plans for care for the patient. A block of about 20 minutes is set aside for me to meet with the nurse and social worker, but we are usually done in 5 minutes or less because my mom is in excellent health except for the late third-stage Alzheimer's. She is 77 years old and requires absolutely no medicine. Before I left work I had lunch with five of my friends who range in age from 45 to 60, and I listened to them describe their medications and ailments. How very strange.

Anyway, visits with my mom are very depressing for me; and so far this year I have only visited her on the days of the meetings. The mother of my friend, NancyF, is also a nursing home resident; and she has Alzheimer's as well. Nancy and I were comparing visits one day, and she suggested I take my stitching along. So yesterday I wheeled Mom outside to enjoy the fresh air, and I spent a couple hours stitching along side her.

It's almost like talking to myself as she can't speak or understand me, but it was such a nice afternoon spending time with her. I got to see that she is extremely clean and very relaxed looking. The staff at this home is so kind and loving to all the residents, and our family is so grateful for that. And while we were outside, I noticed that she has such lovely skin for her age. Mom always used Dove soap; and even when we would go on vacation, she took her Dove soap with her!

For a new take on Dove soap, please check out Carrie's blog. She has made oatmeal Dove soap, and I'm going to give this a try.

13 comments:

Katy~The Country Blossom said...

I am sorry....that has to be so hard...I worked in a dementia unit in a personal care home before I got married. It is difficult seeing people have dementia....and now my grandma is in the stages of Alzheimer's too. It's so so so hard to watch the deterioration of those you love. I am glad you got to sit out with her and stitch....as hard as it is..I am sure she loved that you were there! :)

Sue said...

I am sad for you about your mother. How nice of you to sit with her and stitch. I feel in my heart that she was appreciative of your presence though she can't tell you so.
May God bless you!!

Carrie of Farming On Faith said...

Oh it sounds like a wonderful day with your Mom! One day she will be perfect again! What a blessing that she is peaceful. I will pray the it continues to be so. She sounds like a beautiful lady full of grace.
I prayed God would give you encouragement today~what a fine daughter you are!

Screen Door said...

You know-- your mom took care of you for a lot of years-- you'll never regret your visits. The stitching is a great idea. And remember with this disease--- you don't remember the bad junk either *S*. I love your header--- Will you share the pattern names.?

Flat Creek Farm said...

I also truly believe that your dear mom knows when you are there with her, and appreciates your visits so very much -- even though it doesn't seem so at the time. It is hard! We visited our dear neighbor lady yesterday at the residential home she is now in. Thankfully, she hasn't progressed 'much' yet with the dementia, but I know she'd still be living in the comfort of her own home today if this awful disease hadn't taken over. I'm glad you could take along your stitching ~ what a wonderful idea! -Tammy

At Home With Amy said...

You will never forget these moments with your mother Mary. Treasure them always. I'm confident that she knows you took precious time out of your busy day to spend with her and if she could communicate with you I'm sure she would have told you that herself.
Blessings,
AMY

Laurie said...

Mary, thanks for stopping by my blog via Barb. What a lovely day you had with your mom. I'm sure it's difficult but as a person whose mom died in '92...enjoy these times.
Hugs
Laurie

Juliann said...

My mom also has alzheimer's-not yet as far along as your mom but it is harder for me to visit her these days. There are days when my being there seem to agitate her, as though my presence is a puzzle to her. My heart is with you.

QUILTILNLG IS BLISSFUL, DI said...

Hi Mary--what a Lovely thing you did today--I know you believe your MoM did not know you was there and maybe you are right--but she know that someone was at her side and that had to have a "Peaceful" couple hours for her.
As for Dove soap--I was a faithful Dove user from the time I was 16 until I was 50--but unfortunately I became sensitive to it and all soaps and many products--but I miss the Dove the most--and at 61 people do think I am younger that I am--til they really notice the grey hair!!!!!! Have a great day--hugs, just, Di

Finding Home said...

This post had me in tears especially as I read everyone's comments. Thinking of you stitching with Grandma. Knowing that she shared that same passion. And it is official, I'm switching to Dove soap. You have her skin you know. It's totally beautiful and soft looking.

Barb said...

Mary, I am so sorry, I know it must be very difficult. In my heart I truly believe that even though your mom could not tell you, she had to have the calmness and peace that you were there. God will provide that knowledge and that sense of peace for your mom, and for you! Stitching in the sunshine and being with her will be something that will always be in your heart and your memory! You did the right thing for both of you! ((HUGS)) to you Mary for your difficult times!

Small House said...

Oh my. I am so sorry. How hard this is on you and especially your heart. I'm glad you could have a little time to sit and stitch with her. I often wonder if somewhere, deep inside, they can tell the difference of family and strangers. There must be a connection of love somewhere.
Sandra

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Your post was so touching ....It is just a hard place to be....

I love your blog...